I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
