remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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