I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
