SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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