Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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