Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
