i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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