i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
