We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
