I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
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