We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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