Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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