For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
