you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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