your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
