physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
