let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
