weddingsv make me drug and hornr
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
