OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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