you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
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