It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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