So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Randomize
