Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
