You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
