I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
