dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Randomize
