Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Randomize
