All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
