Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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