This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
