Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
should my penis look like a turkey
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
