so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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