he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
