the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
