shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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