lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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