I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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