it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
