How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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