DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
