what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
