i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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