In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
