Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
