i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
