Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
