Umm I'm too high to move.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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