there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
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