they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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