Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I looked at my own cervix.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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