All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
