Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
