If i could tip my vagina, i would.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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