there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
