can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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