nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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