Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
My vagina just recognized that song.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
