fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
