I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
