He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
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