Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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