i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
