dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I need to align my fucking chakras
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