Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
