as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
