You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
