Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
