Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
