I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
