just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I am one with the molecules
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize