He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
