hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
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