we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize