I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
