We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Randomize
