belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
how does that bad decision feel?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
