Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
