big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
People in love make me want to vomit
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
