I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
