Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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