We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
