I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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