Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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