the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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