Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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