Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
